Friday 4 November 2011

Frickin' Black Rod Steals My 'Secret Idea'... Idea

...you know, a Rouge Rod could get glowin' hot upon waking to find another Rod in the Red Idea cookie jar. Feeling a bit like Gollum, tricksy thieving Black Hobbits'es....

See, I had this secret idea for the next election. And I figured I'd leak it ever so slowly in my little blog posts, just a hint at a time, then, whammo!! I'd launch that sucker full force. I was actually feelin' a little smug and smart, and I'll admit to liking those all-to-rare feelings.

(I never thought about asking for money, though. I'm such a Newb, right? Good on you, B.R. (s))

So today I read that the Black Rod has already figured out the winning formula for a revitalized Liberal / PC winning ticket. And He's (she's) gonna sell it on eBay (or something....)

And since I am quite sure there is only one secret formula, and since I was literally working on presenting said formula... I'm pissed, just a little.

Can you blame me??

(Hey, read the thievin' tricksy hobbits'es' post here: http://blackrod.blogspot.com/)

Anyways, about the secret formula. Check this out.

Funny thing about polarity, the gathering of 'constituents' on either end leaves mucho room in the middle separating the extremes. Light vs. dark, hot vs. cold, labour vs. business, good vs. evil, city vs. country, yadda yadda. The more polarization, the more the 'barbell' effect leaves most on the extremes, with few in the middle (right, Grit friends?)

The gulf of extremism divides and conquers.

Right?

(Cue the therapy couch image, soft music, and me with my pipe....)

But we don't live in a world of black or white. We can't survive in Hot or Cold alone. Too much light or darkness both lead to blindness. Look at the distribution of population around the world. We flock to temperate, thrive there, multiply there.

So, step one: Polarization Must Be Countered, Temperate Must Reign.

No more city vs. country. No more labour vs. business. No more rugged individualist vs. died-in-wool socialist. It is time to join the factions in the shades of grey where a thriving economy could live.

(If it were not for the transfer payments, I'd be stating the obvious. But those frickin' welfare cheques cover the truth, don't they? Let's rip the lid off, 'k?)

For brevity, let me proceed rapidly through the remainder of the steps.

Under the new banner of temperate unity, follow the remaining 7 Step Rod Rouge Secret Formula (BAM! Take that, BR!):

1. Unite the PC and Liberal parties.
2. Run on ethical fiscal management, efficient + effective social programming, and a new voting system.
3. Do not frickin' promise a single penny in additional spending, and do not borrow (EVER!!).
4. Expose the current NDP regime simply for what it is.
5. Win the next election.
6. Change the voting system once in power.
7. Face the brave new world a better voting system brings.

Polarization is the enemy of the Keystone Province. It must be destroyed. The PC and Liberal parties must step up to this task starting _right now_. Only a unified front can counter the Lefty Machine. Nothing else will do it (bloody hell, talk about stating the obvious.) We must do this now.

Must, as in, we have NO OTHER ETHICAL CHOICE. Think of the children, ok?

Well.... there is one other choice, I guess. You could buy the Black Rod's idea. You know, if you have any money left, right...? (Heh....)

Oh, my plan would offend your little Federal Friends?

Don't care.

Oh, it would alienate some of your base?

Right, unlike now...

Oh, (fill in some other silly excuse)...

Stop. Just stop being childish and self-interested.

Just Do It. Do the Rod Rouge Plan.

Do It Now, for the children, ok?

So ok, there you have it. Free. I don't even use banner ads. Totally no charge, no profit. Just a better Manitoba for me and mine, you are yours, they and theirs. Good enough for me, and you are welcome.

If you PC's or Grits want a fancy formated version, with maybe some additional options, buy the Black Rod's version. I am sure it is a very reasonable price....

(...in fact, I'm thinking of making an offer.

Hey, Blue Rod, you with me? You likely have the bucks to pull it off, eh?)

Come on, folks. Let's push this forward, ok?

For the Children, ok?

Ok. Thanks.

3 comments:

  1. I can't believe you're giving this away for free.

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  2. But I wrote the master plan four years ago and have been trying to give it away ever since. Unfortunately the Black Rod is a lot smarter than I am and has decided to put a high price tag on it. That price tag gives the illusion of high value so the BR plan will probably get picked up. (and maybe paid for)

    ReplyDelete
  3. He forced my hand, though, right?

    I mean, what else could I do but throw it out there....?

    :7)

    ReplyDelete