Thursday, 25 October 2012

Manitoba United: Reasons Why Not To Untie

(I'll bet you thought I was going to riff on the old 'bad spellers of the world... untie!' joke.

Well, I am not.)

Let's talk about good reasons to stay in your Manitoba Provincial party, or your lack thereof, even if you are unsatisfied. We should not 'untie' ourselves from our present circumstance, because...

1. It is Too Bloody Hard

Go on, my friend. Let it out.

You don't want to have to work that hard, do you?

Guess what. Me neither.

A crisis in politics begets a problem solver, or stays a problem. The Devil you know doesn't want your ass off the couch, or the Jet's seat, or your kid's game bleacher. The Devil you know supports your free time, your... idle hands.

Heck, he even sponsors some of it directly, handing out masses of all kinds of opiates. You pay, mind, but he does the facilitating.

This Devil we know is still kinda fun. The other guy certainly won't be as much fun.

The other guy would make us work at solving problems.

Blech, right??

2. ... But Those Guys are my Friends!

Does a friend tell you what you need to hear, or what you want to hear?

Hmmm... good question.

Our great Federal Friends would get totally bummed if we travelled slightly different paths. 'Dude,' they would say, 'what's next, a name change.... like my ex- spouse did... would you hurt me like that, dude?'

Need to hear, or want to hear. Which truth will you tell?

(I mean, dude... Tradition, eh wot?)

3. We Cannot Do Anything Good Anyway

That's right. And we know it.

We are impotent, ineffective, inconsequential, insignificant, insecure, insufficient, insufferable, insular, intractable, inscrutable, in-what-ever-makes-us-sound-worthy.

(And then there's the un's...)

No point in trying.

Thank G-d.

Please, for the sake of my kid's tournaments, my quiet time with my wife, my Netflix addiction, the long walks with my doggy, please, please....

Please do not unite into one strong force of opposition against the current NDP regime.

Don't untie, either.

Thanks a bunch.